For so many of us we have been bestowed the honor of earning our merit badge of sexual abuse. It happens and we don’t ever speak of it again. Until of course our daughters receive the honor.
We don’t comfort her with support because we are too busy strategizing the cover up. How do we end the ceremony? If we don’t discuss it does that mean it didn’t really happen?
For too long we have had our crosses to bear, and our soiled dresses to wear. We must refuse this idea. We pray that it doesn’t ever happen. We become hyper vigilant. Keeping our daughters away from those who we deem questionable. We generalize and forget that not everyone is a perpetrator. We turn our daughters into fear mongers. We classify our efforts as a preemptive strike. But what happens if she earns the badge anyway?
What do we do then? Do we hold a pity party celebrating our failure to protect our daughters? Or do we talk to her, listen intently, and support her without any conditions?
Shouldn’t we want for our daughters what we wanted given to us. It is time to shame the devil, not our daughters. It is not her fault, the owness falls on the pedophile who defiled her innocence and self esteem.
Tell her it wasn’t her fault, and it wasn’t your fault when it happened to you, and nor was it your grandmother’s fault when it happened to her. You are all beautiful in spite of it all. Don’t allow the devil to bring you all down. This shall not break your spirit, for a rose is still a rose.