When is the last time you complimented you or gave yourself a few words of encouragement? Are you the type of person that encourages or compliments everyone but you? Daily I give out compliments and words of encouragement habitually without a second thought. I always say I am giving credit where it is due. But where is the credit that I should be giving to myself?
When do I say Neisha job well done? I am proud of you girl. It happens sporadically and it needs to be daily for my overall health. I need to say to myself you are worthy of both love and encouragement from you. I wrote so much two weeks ago, I even wrote through an intense emotion although it is something I struggled with constantly. Instead of giving up like usual because the emotion was overwhelming I wrote through it. Each time I wanted to stop I pushed that much harder. Yet, I never gave myself a pat on the bag for such a huge accomplishment. I just brushed it aside like it was no big deal. Reward yourself! We work hard and need to praise ourselves even harder. Encourage you!
All our accomplishments both great and small deserve a celebration most of which should be on a monumental scale. Get happy about the things you do! We always want to rush to validate someone else yet we often are left feeling invalidated within.
The first part of this is to validate you without any outside interference. Let’s not wait for someone else to take notice. You see it, say it! Now to some people writing through an intense emotion is not a big deal but to me it meant everything. If I waited for someone else to agree I would have walked around solace for who knows how long. This accomplishment is crucial in getting me through my alleged “writer’s block”. Writer’s block is a myth by the way. But I digress we will discuss that another day.
After you validate your accomplishment and feelings move onto something that seems simple that I also struggle with look in the mirror and say I am proud of you. I say I meet this with a high level of difficulty because many times I feel unworthy and inadequate therefore leading me to erroneously believe I am not worthy of praise. I have always joked that I am a great writer. But I always follow up with I do not want to sound conceited. For so long I have confused conceit and confidence. A lot of people have dislike for people who on the surface lack humility not knowing that they may have been struggling with issues of confidence within in the past. And when these people realize their talent they have no qualms about letting the world know how talented they are through words and actions.
The next part is to believe in you. I used to struggle with loving myself. When I would hear Whitney Houston’s “Greatest Love of All” I cried so hard my mind, body, and soul felt it. For years I hated that song. I used to say I love myself look at how I dress, referring to my outward appearance. Ignorant to the fact my “ugly” insides were seeping out and make themselves visible to the outside world. I thought by dressing the part I could fake it, till I make it, but it was to no avail. I hated who I was and definitely did not believe in me. Believe in you, you can do anything. If you give it your best effort and feel like you failed then work harder next time. But do not lose faith in you.
Last but not least, invest in you. Invest time and money in you because you are a valuable stock. No one will believe the hype if you don’t. Make sure your carry yourself as the part you want to play. Don’t worry I am taking notes and heed to everything I am saying. I don’t believe in do as I say, not as I do. The talk must always match the walk.