Have you or someone you know ever been bullied? How did it make you feel? Bullying to some is a perverse rite of passage that everyone has to endure in life. Why? I was bullied as an adolescent and it made me feel worthless, unappreciated, and most of all unloved. No one assured me I was worthy of love and was beautiful just the way I am.

I was picked on by a group of neighborhood boys who felt my appearance was less than stellar. They reminded me often how ugly they truly thought I was. Sometimes juice containers were thrown my way along with that nasty word. I was confused and baffled by this. And as I pointed out earlier I was never reassured that I was beautiful.  Bullying is not a part of growing up it is indeed abuse and it is not warranted. What gives anyone the right to abuse you? You were not put on this Earth to be anyone’s victim. It tears you down mentally and leaves you emotional scarred for life if you don’t overcome it.

For a long time I in fact believed I was ugly. In fact in college I was sure of it I would isolate and just marinate on that word ugly. I could never rest my laurels on pretty like the other girls. I was awkward and unattractive. For years I could not work up the courage and look in the mirror and say hello beautiful. I did not believe I was. What no one tells you about bullying is it destroys you from the inside out. For years you are riddled with insecurity. For years you seek outside validation versus trusting yourself. See bullying is not supposed to happen but it is one of those unfortunate events that can occur.

What no one tells you about bullying is the person or persons bullying your do not value their own self-worth and are taking that out on you. People that truly value themselves are not concerned with belittling others to make them feel superior. No one tells you that you are not inferior to those that punish you for just being you. No one tells you that being you is beautiful.  You don’t have to make excuses or apologies for your flaws for you are perfectly flawed just like them.

No one tells you that you are both hurting inside and need to seek help. We are misinformed that vulnerability is a sign of weakness.  Vulnerability is a sign or courage and bravery. When you reveal yourself to someone it enables them to do some introspection and really delve deep into the root of their problem.

No one tells you that you can beat this bullying down by reassuring yourself that you are worth it. Your self-esteem is worth the fight. They do not tell you that although it is not right that you should use it to motivate you. The best revenge is success. The way I got past it was to propel myself forward. I look in the mirror now with great pride I am perfectly flawed just the way I was meant to be.

Do you think bullying is a rite of passage? Why or why not? What were some of your misconceptions about bullying? Share your thoughts below.