Breaking up is hard to do. And there is never, never a right time to say good-bye. Listen! Now that I have your attention when something is beyond repair stop trying to fix it. LET IT GO! There is nothing worse than trying to make something work that God has taken apart. Accept that the chapter in your life is now closed. Yes you will have a mourning period but this too shall pass. I think the cruelest thing one can do to themselves and others it to hold on dearly for what you should let go freely. I say this because I have been there holding onto something that was never meant to be mine. I want to save you that pain and disparity. If it doesn’t make you happy then it does not belong in your life.
I have learned in life that you don’t want to hurt people especially when you are already hurting. Hurt people, hurt people! Right now I am going through a deep depression and I have decided to let things go that don’t make me happy. I had to realize that during this dark period I am hurting so many people. The one I love second to God and my daughter but I just cannot do it anymore. I cannot live with myself knowing someone is settling for me and my nonsense. No one deserves to be complacent and truthfully speaking uncomfortable. Donnell Jones song is true “when you love someone, you just don’t treat them bad.” I cannot do it anymore and he’d rather believe I love someone else then the truth that I love him so much that even through my darkest moment I have the sense of mind to let him go. He fought a good fight and I love him for it. I am a handful; complicated things come in this package called my love. No one is perfect but I cannot watch him hurt any longer.
I cannot hold onto something that God told me doesn’t belong to me and was never intended for my life. (Paraphrased from TD Jakes) I can admit that I am selfish at times. Commitment has always terrified me not because I cannot be loyal and loving but it scares me because I have trouble with endurance and possessing staying power. Right now I cannot be romantically linked to anyone. Emotionally I am unavailable. Believe me when I tell you that is a hard thing to admit.
In my past I would purposely sabotage a relationship because I felt unworthy of love in its purest form. But I have learned that I am worthy of pure love and so much more. But right now I need to focus on me. I have to stand alone without any man only God and I. I am going through a lot I’d rather maintain a lasting friendship then hate each other for enduring a tumultuous and bitter relationship. I don’t want him to resent me. I want to tell you now there isn’t another man. It will take a hell of a man to step in your shoes. You are the man but right now my heart is telling me that I need to let you go because I would hate for there to be resentment toward me for holding onto you knowing that I cannot love you the way not only you need but deserve.
What are you holding onto that you need to let go? If you have let it go how long did your mourn that loss? Share your thoughts below.