Why do you self-sabotage? Is it because when you are failing at life no one expects much of you? Why is success so scary for some? I often more than not am guilty of getting in my own way in life. I sabotage relationships, goals, and just life in general. I am not proud of these things but I must admit them in order to grow.
Because of this fact I have held back doing things because of my personal need to sabotage. I really do not know when this self-destructive behavior began. Because of this behavior I have delved into some less than stellar things when life became overwhelming.
Recently, I have been afforded some wonderful opportunities and I question their merit. I really have been thinking that I am not worthy of them. It’s like I do not believe I deserve success. I feel like if I succeed people will only expect more of me and what if I cannot live up to the hype. I know that iece with hard work does pay off and I am deserving of these opportunities and so much more.
There was this time back in college where I auditioned for a talent show and was seen as a worthy competitor and I psyched myself out and never sung on stage since. Or even the fact I went to college and failed out because I majored in fashion design instead of journalism knowing writing has always been my one true love. I knew nothing about fashion but I could write a magnificient piece with my eyes closed.
In my relationships I also did this pushing people away until they reached their breaking point because I did not feel deserving of their love. Now I could argue that my bipolar disorder has a lot to do with this but that is no excuse. There are a lot of successful people that suffer with mental illness. So how do I combat these feelings of self-sabotage? How do we get out of our own way?
- Acknowledge that you are participating in self-sabotage. Be honest with yourself and counter that behavior by saying I am worthy of success.
- Recognize why you self-sabotage in the first place. For me a lot of times when things are going good I fear I am having a manic episode and I will come crashing back down. For me it is not normal to just be happy that things are going well. I obsess over the other shoe dropping or more importantly how I am not deserving of any accolades. I don’t even respect my own hard work.
- Change the behavior. You do this by counter those negative thoughts with affirmations. I love affirmations when I feel like beating myself up I repeatedly tell myself the opposite of how I am
- Live in the moment and embrace it. Stay in this moment. Enjoy all the rewards and happiness it brings.
- Build a support network. Build a group of people around you that support you and will help you identify when you are being self-destructive.
Now I will be honest it is hard to think positive because I am used to ruminating on negative emotions. As I write this I am overwhelmed with negative emotions. I cannot quiet the negative thoughts. So I will write until they pass. Until I feel alright with everything that is happening in my life right now. I deserve it. That felt good to say and I truly feel that way.
Do you partake in self-destructive behavior? Why aren’t you good enough? Why don’t you deserve success? Share your thoughts below.