The Right Way to Talk to Yourself

Are you emotionally abusive to yourself? Strange question, I think not. How do you talk to yourself? Is there a lot of negative self-talk? It may be time to rethink the way we talk to ourselves. Would you talk to other people the way you talk to yourself? I doubt you would.

Now there is nothing wrong with criticized a situation and being accountable for you actions. What about the instances where we engage in self-depreciating conversation with ourselves? Sometimes when I talk to myself I have to check in and say would I speak this way to my daughter or a friend and more often than not I agree that I would not speak so harshly to anyone else but me. Aren’t we precious? Does what we say and how we feel add value to the world? Why would we want to have such a negative impact on ourselves?

What we say often determines how we feel. Here are some tips on the right way to talk to ourselves:


1.       Acknowledge you are engaging in negative self-talk.Check in with yourself with this type of talk garner positive actions. Or will it worsen matters and make for a negative outcome.

2.       Develop a zero tolerance for emotional abuse from yourself. Say to yourself I would never talk to anyone else this harshly so I will not speak to myself this way. This type of talk has lasting effects and is very damaging and harder to heal from. Emotional abuse stays with you it marks an indelible mark in your memory bank and more often than not difficult to reverse.

3.       Be proactive. When you feel the urge to participate in negative self-talk check in and ask yourself how I can combat these negative emotions and do an inventory of what is triggering this behavior. Do a mental checklist of how you feel before engaging in this activity. What set you off?

4.       How is that negative self-talk working for you? What are the benefits to participating in this type of talk? Does anything positive come from this overzealous tough love?

5.       Distinguish fact from a mirrored negative reality. Many times how we talk to ourselves is a stark contrast from reality. In other words it is more myth than fact. Stick to the facts and do not become inundated with fictional thoughts.

6.       Be armed with positive affirmations.  Apart of being proactive is being prepared for the storm ahead. Surround yourself with positive armor. To fend off negative words or thoughts. Do not barricade yourself with negativity. This is a battle and be prepared to fight it tooth and nail.

Did you find these tips helpful? Are there any I should add? Share your thoughts below?


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