This morning I awoke feeling motivated and inspired by a dream I had about how someone had created a goal sheet and vision board for me. I woke up feeling convicted and compelled to create both myself. I had a happy bubble following me and then boom I hit a sharp and arduous nail. I became incensed and immediately all positive feelings dissipated like my bubble.
I allowed another person’s negativity energy to overtake my positive energy. Inside I felt defeated and an overwhelming sense to give up. My how the tide had changed! I found myself questioning how do I keep trying when everything within is telling me to give up? I needed some encouragement because I could not muster any from within. So I read the lyrics to Yolanda Adam’s song “Never Give Up”. Tears began to well up and cascade down my face like a waterfall. Yolanda says, “Keep the dream alive don’t let it die, if something keeps on telling you to try don’t stop.” I always get choked up on the first verse:
Visions that can change the world trapped inside an ordinary girl
She looks just like me too afraid to dream out loud
And though it’s simple your idea, it won’t make sense to everybody
You need courage now if you’re going to persevere
To fulfill divine purpose, you have to answer when you’re called
So don’t be afraid to face the world against all odds!
Success terrifies me but I need to write so badly and desperately. It is innate and I cannot deny that writing is my sustenance. The thought of failing is insurmountable and I cannot bear that burden. In other words failure is not an option. I have to go hard and push even harder. I need to succeed like, I need my sanity. Writing is my peace of mind.
It brings me solace when I feel like everything around me is enveloped in chaos and disarray. Today I had to push through and advocate for myself. Something that I am not accustomed to doing. Now I am awaiting an outcome good, bad, or indifferent I have faith that standing up for what I believe in has its benefits. God did not make us to be inferior to anyone. He has great things planned for us we just have to allow him to guide our steps.
So many times I have contemplated giving up but something deep inside won’t allow it. I am destined for greatness. I know it because my comfort zone feels uncomfortable I
was born to stand out not to fit in. When I find myself sticking out like a sore thumb I know it is time for a change. Change is often uncomfortable and often leaves us feeling vulnerable and exposed. Although I don’t like to feel either of the two I know that God wants so much more for me than I want for myself.
Do you struggle or have you struggled with wanting to give up? How do you tackle those feelings of defeat? Share your thoughts below.