As you know COY Magazine is about women’s personal development. I started it with the intent to develop myself as a mentally stronger and mentally independent woman. I feel the stories that I share help me to heal, to grow, and to encourage women from many walks of life.
There is power in every test and strength in every testimony. For most of my life my experiences were kept private and I tried to forget as much as I could. Yet, my healing could not be tied to denial. I have experience some painful tribulations and some amazing triumphs. I want my magazine to cover a myriad of women’s issues. Some days I struggle not with writer’s block but with a deliberate attempt to not reveal my truth. Many times the subjects I tackle come to me in a dream or at a moment’s notice. I carry a journal and pen daily to record my thoughts.
Even now as I write this I want to stop writing and allow myself to be inconsistent and not right. Fear and self-doubt is our own worst enemy. I am going to push through that negatives energy and write freely. I believe in vulnerability and complete transparency. We have to learn to shame the devil versus living in shame for what the devil has done to us.
For my adolescent and college years I kept things buried inside me until it nearly killed me. The very people I was protecting were dismissive of my experiences and made me a martyr. I learned quickly not only can everyone not handle your truth but they cannot handle theirs either. Some would rather live a lie than show any sign of dysfunction in their families.
I have suffered at the hands of those who were supposed to love and protect me as their own. Yet I was preyed upon and my innocence and self-worth were decimated at their very hands. Through God and prayer I made it out alive but not unscathed. I am marred with emotional scars like a tattoo that cannot be covered up.
For a long time I walked with the putrid stench of a victim. No one wanted to be around me because I was wallowing in misery and depression. I found comfort in those strange bedfellows. So much so I started to self-sabotage. I am blessed that I have grown to accept myself, good, bad, and indifferent. From my natural crown to my special brand of beauty, I embrace the woman that is me.
I am in awe of all I have accomplished and will accomplish. So please I hope my articles delve deep and touch the innermost parts of your spirit and uplift you in ways you never dreamed imaginable. No matter where you are in life there is always somewhere higher you can go. With self-confidence comes self-improvement. We should constantly be evolving and taking the shape of a more amazing woman than we once were.
So read through my magazine and let me know how you feel about what I have written and please feel free to suggest that which I have yet to write.
You can reach me at email@example.com or for faster contact I am on Twitter @coymagazine
It takes a village to develop phenomenal women like us. Dream big and break that glass ceiling! Never let a dream be deferred!
Neisha T. Kelly